Reality defying jokes.

What does god do when he makes a spelling mistake? Nothing, he knows the devil is in the details.
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What did God do after creating Adam and Eve`?
-He kicked Adam out of the garden of eden and married Eve
He did so because adam insulted gods intelligence by hiding behind a bush. God figured, it takes two and as luck turned out for Adam, God wasnt gay, so Adam went to hell and had sausage party with the devil because there was noone else around.
Eve showed god how she tended his creation so that he himself could understand it better, I guess only God and Eve knew what else was going on in the Garden of eden.
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What does god see when he looks at other people?
-He is aweinspired by his own perfection

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If god had a blog…. it would be MINDBLOWING!

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What happens if evil men/women threaten Gods creation?
-He tosses them to hell to think about stuff for a while. But he will give a warning first. If they keep running from the devil, God will never se them again.

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Hvad gør gud hvis han er ked af det? Han joker med jævlen indtil han er glad igen.

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What happens if God gets a God complex?
-The devil will tell him he is insane and sent him to hell.
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What does god do if he gets poisoned?
-He snaps his fingers and takes a leak.

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What happens if god looks backwards? He cant see shit for he is so fast not even light can catch him.
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What happens when god takes SPEED?
-He wont know because he is faster than light and can´t see ahead of himself and runs straight into Hell to discuss this with the devil.

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Hvad laver gud og djælven når de er på besøg i paradisets have?
-De tager til helvede for at grille så adam og eva ikke får gode ideer og æder slangen.

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What does god do when he is bored?
-He splits in two and cracks jokes with himself. Some say that is how man and women were created.. One must conclude that god is not joking…
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Why were cats worshipped in Egypt?

Because a cat is its own creature and cannot be controlled by humans. The cat would only follow a god.

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Why did the sun god Ra of egypt roam the underworld at night?

Well, he was fighting the “devil within” himself to keep balance in the world.

It is also called “the disolution of the EGO”, combining all the jungian archetypes to form the “buddah” which is said to be the all-being-in-one

Essentially he solved all of humanitys problems at night so that day could be awesome for everyone else and the funny part was, that noone but Ra/Hathor himself was 100% aware of it. 🙂

I think this is a socalled cosmic joke 😀

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What did God do when he kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden and eden?
-The Devil brought him Junkfood, cigarettes, alcohol and cannabis, mushrooms, LSD and tempted god to look at his own creation differently. What the devil forgot was the time. And as such the “devil” healed “god” God, benevolent as he was/is/will be forgave the devil for all his sins and lifted the devil 1 step up the staircase. However, The devil, stubborn as he is, still is chasing his own tail. But the devil and god has been at this table many times. God, benevolent as he is/was/will be will offer the devil one last present. It is whispered in the sounds of silence.

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And the devil told god: “If someone offers you a rope – take it!” Pondering what the devil meant he climbed the rope out of hell and walked the planet.

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What happens when God gets burned by fire? Nothing, he is heatproof, he BBQ¨s with the devil in his sparetime, he is used to fire.

What does the Devil do when he freeses? He teases god so that god comes down there, sings the Doors “baby you can light my fire”

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